How Designers can Never Split the Difference, a Daily Retro Framework, and an AI Tool for Email Writing

Happy Tuesday y’all! And a big welcome to all the new subscribers 👋

This line has been echoing in my mind the past week: “Look for problems of consequence over problems of convenience.”

With “problems of consequence” in mind, this week I’m excited to share some thoughts on how designers can Never Split the Difference, a daily retro framework to live with intention, and an AI tool to help with writing to your co-workers (from emails to slack messages).

Let’s get into it!

---

I. How Designers can Never Split the Difference

“Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and resolution.” — Chris Voss

I was an intern at Razorfish, attending a roundtable meeting, when one of the participants shared advice that has stuck with me: look to other industries for inspiration. Basically, if you’re working on an eComm site look outside of eComm for innovation and inspiration. Finance, Construction, Hospitality... there’s no right or wrong industries to look at. The goal is simply to go outside to get inspiration, see what’s working in those spaces and what you can bring back.

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of the book, Never Split the Difference. And Voss’s techniques can help you become a better designer. Sure designers aren’t dealing with hostage negotiations, but they are negotiators and salesmen, albeit that’s not something they may claim. But there you are in a room full of stakeholders or engineers, selling your designs, negotiating feedback.

Chris Voss’ theory is that traditional negotiation tactics, which focus on compromise and logic, are often ineffective in real-world situations. Instead the key to a successful negotiation is to focus on emotions and empathy, and to approach negotiations as a problem-solving exercise rather than a battle.

Here are three of Voss’ techniques for you to try in your next review or meeting:

1. Active Listening

Active listening is the act of fully concentrating on and understanding the other person's words, tone, and body language to better comprehend their perspective and needs. (If you’re working remotely, be sure to have video calls). Active listening helps you better understand the needs and requirements (from product, the CEO, your customers, etc.), resulting in more impactful designs.

Ways to improve active listening skills:

• Use open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to share more information

• Paraphrase the speaker's words to confirm understanding and demonstrate empathy

• Use mirrors to reflect the speaker's words and emotions back to them

• Pay attention to the speaker's tone of voice and body language to better understand their emotions and intentions

• Avoid interrupting or judging the speaker, which can hinder effective communication.

2. Empathy

Voss explains that empathy is a critical skill in negotiations because it helps build rapport and trust with the other party. Similarly, empathy is essential in design as it allows designers to put themselves in their users' shoes and create designs that are more intuitive and user-friendly.

Designers typically focus their empathy on the customer, but remember, your stakeholders and the internal teams are also your customers. Design is problem-solving (not a battle).

Ways to practice empathy can include:

• Acknowledge the other person's emotions and labeling them, such as saying "It sounds like this is important to you." to show you’re paying attention and build rapport.

• Try repeating back the other person's words to show that you are actively listening and understanding their perspective. For example, if the other person says, "I'm really frustrated with this situation," you could respond with, "I understand that you're feeling frustrated."

3. Framing

Framing is all about how you’re presenting the information. How will the other party perceives it? What are the most important features or benefits to highlight to your audience as you share your work? I like to build off of the concept of an “Executive Summary” to the “Marketing Summary” or “Engineering Summary”.

One of my absolute quotes that I think fits perfectly here:

“What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. ... In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.” — John Lubbock

The CEO, engineering, marketing, sales all have a different perspective. Framing things to address their key questions or concerns will help facilitate a good conversation and make it a collaborative effort vs a battle.

Give the book a read! Try out these techniques with the goal of creating win-win outcomes for all parties involved. And remember, life is a series of negotiations.

📚 Find the book on Amazon

---

II. Daily Retro Framework

Life has been moving extra fast these days. I love a good retro at work, and love this framework for myself as I strive to live each day with intention. Grab some post-its or a journal to give it a try. Consider these questions as a starting point:

Q1 — What can I do more (or less) of to be happy?

Q2 — What can I do more (or less) of to find meaning?

Q3 — What can I do more (or less) of to build positive relationships?

Q4 — What can I do more (or less) of to be more centered and less reactive?

Q5 — What can I do more (or less) of to be loving to the people I say I love?

---

III. AI Tool: Professionalize It To Me

Professionalize It To Me is an AI-based tool designed to transform informal messages into professional ones with just one click. This tool leverages ChatGPT API to generate formal messages within seconds. Basically the tool generates a professional version of your original message.

What stood out to me is the “Select how it will sound” dropdown. A great step into personalizing tone and language which I haven’t seen much of for generative AI. Right now the options are simple but I’m hoping they continue to add!

Check it out: https://www.professionalizeitto.me/

---

That’s it for today! Thank you for reading. I’ll leave you with my favorite line from Chris Voss:

“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”

Please consider sharing this issue via LinkedIn, social media, or email. And give it a like! 💛

Until next week,
raika

---