Doing this makes giving feedback easier
Hey there! I’m Raika, a Senior UX and Conversation Designer at Amazon. If you’re new here, welcome! You can subscribe to my Secrets to Great UX Design newsletter for weekly insights. I share actionable ways to create great experiences, grow your career and more… for designers and non-designers.
Feedback is how we get to great.
I’d go so far as to say what makes someone a great designer is their ability to give and take feedback.
I’ve always prided myself on being receptive to feedback. But as I’ve progressed in my career I’ve realized that a great designer (leader, partner, etc.) must not only take feedback but give feedback as well.
If you’re someone who wants to get better at giving feedback, this post is for you.
There are lots of great tactics and resources out there for giving feedback. They’ll tell you to:
Focus on observations, not judgments.
Express your feelings to help the other person understand how their behavior is affecting you.
Make a clear request of what you would like the other person to do differently.
But if you struggle to give feedback, I suspect it isn’t for a lack of tactics. A reframe and mindset shift needs to happen.
“It’s brutally hard to tell people when they are screwing up. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings; that’s because you’re not a sadist. You don’t want that person or the rest of the team to think you’re a jerk. Plus, you’ve been told since you learned to talk, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Now all of a sudden it’s your job to say it. You’ve got to undo a lifetime of training. Management is hard.” ― Kim Scott
So, here’s my question for you:
Do you want to be a peacekeeper or a peacemaker?
Being a peacekeeper means trying to maintain harmony by avoiding or smoothing over conflicts.
Being a peacemaker means actively working towards resolving conflicts and finding a solution that works for all parties involved.
Your choice can have major consequences or benefits in your relationships.
I know I want to be a peacemaker. Effectively giving feedback and moving towards resolution. Speaking the truth in love.
Healthy conflict is a means to foster growth and improvement.
When I started to see giving feedback as me investing in the other person, things began to shift, and giving feedback started to get easier. After all, some level of discomfort or confrontation is necessary for growth and resolution in relationships.
Tactics are good and I’ll share more on that in a future post but the best tactics won’t make giving feedback easy. You need to know why you’re giving feedback. Your mindset matters.
We all need people who will give us feedback. And we need to be people who give feedback. It’s how we improve.
Book Recommendation
Radical Candor by Kim Scott is a game-changing guide to effective leadership and communication. With compelling anecdotes and practical insights, Scott will empower you to create a culture of candid feedback that drives personal and professional growth. If you want to elevate your leadership skills and transform your team dynamics, Radical Candor is a must-read.
Find it on Amazon
Favorite Quote and Photo of the Week
“Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.” — Doc Rivers
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That’s it for today. Thanks for reading!
Until next week,
raika
Great article! Feedback is so important and necessary for teams’ growth.
One thing I have applied from Kim’s book is about asking for feedback. When you put yourself in a vulnerable position first, others are more willing to open up and receive feedback, too. I found this pivotal to having an honest conversation with my team and setting the right tone for feedback. We are all trying to grow together.